Marriage

When the Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament, it is saying that the couple’s relationship expresses in a unique way the unbreakable bond of love between Christ and his people.  Like the other six sacraments of the Church, marriage is a sign or symbol which reveals the Lord Jesus and through which his divine life and love are communicated. All seven sacraments were instituted by Christ and were entrusted to the Church to be celebrated in faith within and for the community of believers. The rituals and prayers by which a sacrament is celebrated serve to express visibly what God is doing invisibly.In a sacramental marriage, God’s love becomes present to the spouses in their total union and also flows through them to their family and community. By their permanent, faithful and exclusive giving to each other, symbolized in sexual intercourse, the couple reveals something of God’s unconditional love. The sacrament of Christian marriage involves their entire life as they journey together through the ups and downs of marriage and become more able to give to and receive from each other. Their life becomes sacramental to the extent that the couple cooperates with God’s action in their life and sees themselves as living “in Christ” and Christ living and acting in their relationship, attitudes and actions.

Catholic teaching holds that sacraments bring grace to those who receive them with the proper disposition. Grace is a way of describing how God shares the divine life with us and gives us the help we need to live as followers of Christ. In marriage, the grace of this sacrament brings to the spouses the particular help they need to be faithful and to be good parents. It also helps a couple to serve others beyond their immediate family and to show the community that a loving and lasting marriage is both desirable and possible.

Please select from the following to begin your marriage planning:

• Planning for Marriage in the Catholic Church
•  Marriage Validation
• Marriage Preparation Process Information, Required Forms, etc. from the Diocese of Trenton
• Marriage Preparation Checklist from the Diocese of Trenton
• Holy Cross Parish Ceremony Related Details Information
• Parish Life Before and After Your Wedding

Please contact Eileen George in the Parish Office at 732.842.0348 x. 208 for more information.

 Planning for Marriage in the Catholic Church

Since the Catholic Church believes that marriage is a commitment made for life, preparation for marriage must not only recognize that commitment but also seek to insure that both parties are capable of making such a commitment. The Diocese of Trenton requires that those wishing to be married give a minimum of 12 months notice.  Anyone contemplating marriage at Holy Cross Parish should contact the parish regarding details and specific preparation available for this sacrament a year in advance.

Marriage Validation

 Couples married outside the Catholic Church who would like to inquire about having their marriage validated in the Catholic Church are asked to please contact Eileen George in the Parish Office at 732.842.0348 x. 208 for more information. Those wishing to inquire about having their marriage validated may be Catholic, non-Catholic, or remarried.

Holy Cross Parish Ceremony Related Details Information

Bridal Party
The number of attendants is limited to 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen.

Church Decorations
Flowers are not required in the church. If you want flowers, they are limited to 2 arrangements in urns provided by the church. You may have pew bows for up to 10 pews (5 on either side of the main aisle) affixed with ribbon or elastic.  Due to insurance guidelines, asile runners are not permitted. Nothing may be hung on the doors.

Visiting Priests 
Visiting priests who are related to the family are welcome to preside over the marriage. They will need delegation and testimony of priestly suitability. They will also be expected to follow our guidelines for weddings, including the celebration of ceremonies only and no Masses. The Visiting priest will also assume the responsibility for all the Marriage Preparation of the couple. This may include obtaining a Nihil Obstat from the Diocesan Tribunal.  Please discuss this with the Pastoral Associate as soon as possible.

Flower Girls/Ring Bearers 
Little ones should be of an age and maturity to insure participation in the ceremony by getting down the aisle, at least 4 years of age.

Readings 
You will choose two readings for the ceremony, one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament. These readings come from the approved list the Church has identified as appropriate for weddings. The priest will choose the Gospel reading.  The two readings may be read by family or friends as long as they are baptized Catholics. The priest will read the Universal Prayer.

Music, Vocalists and Musicians 
Holy Cross will provide the music for the wedding ceremony itself. Music for weddings must be planned with our  Music Director. You may choose your wedding music as long as it meets liturgical guidelines. Popular music selections are not permitted in the church. It is not an option to omit any music from the liturgy. Thus, the responsorial psalm is always sung.
If you wish to have a guest vocalist, they may sing one hymn before the ceremony, our Music Director will assist with these arrangements. If you wish to have additional instruments, they may play in the church for 30 minutes before the wedding begins and then again for 15 minutes after the ceremony concludes. The Pastoral Associate must approve the musical selections of any visiting musicians. Please let the Pastoral Associate know about your request.

Rehearsal 
Readers, parents and all members of the wedding party are expected at the rehearsal so you can practice and be comfortable in knowing what to expect at church. The license, fees, and programs (if applicable) should be brought to the rehearsal. Holy Cross staff always facilitates the wedding rehearsals.

Video and Photography  
Videographers and photographers must check with the parish staff for parameters. Generally, they can take pictures from anywhere outside the sanctuary until the bride reaches the altar steps. Then they must back off to the break in the center aisle and to the 1st pew on the side aisles. The total number of those taking pictures is limited. Tripods are limited to 2 and placed in side aisles only. Videographers and photographers may never enter the sanctuary. They should not be a distraction or interfere with the ceremony. Drone usage is prohibited.

Rose Petals, Rice, etc.
You may not throw anything inside or outside the church including, but not limited to, rose petals, rice, confetti or birdseed.

Parish Life Before and After Your Wedding

Catholics relate to Christ's universal Church as members of a parish. Such membership is important for many reasons. If you are not currently a member of a parish, please formally register in one as soon as possible. Following the wedding, it is also important to formally register in the Catholic parish nearest to your new home.
 
Holy Cross Parish strives to be of support to its newly married parishioners in various ways. You will also find ample information on the parish website and in the vestibule of the church on parish activities. You are valuable to the life of Holy Cross Parish. Please become a part of all that occurs here. If the parish priests or parish staff can be of assistance to you in any way after your wedding, please do not hesitate to contact us at [email protected] or (732.842.0348).